Courting Katarina Page 12

  “How is your seamstress working out?”

  “Great, you’ll have to meet her. I can’t believe how much more I’m able to accomplish this way. I love her work, and that frees me up to concentrate on the dolls.”

  “That’s great. Have you always worked alone?”

  Katarina pulled her knees to her chest and Alex kept the swing moving. “In college a few friends helped, but they weren’t as conscientious as I wanted. I decided it was better to do it myself.”

  “I’m glad you’re learning to let someone else take a little of your load. You can’t do it all yourself.”

  She lifted her chin defiantly. “I’ve done okay so far.”

  “I didn’t mean it as an insult.” He rested his hand on her shoulder and moved closer. “I wish you weren’t so defensive. I meant that as a positive. You want your company to grow, and that takes delegation.”

  “Then why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

  He shrugged. “Guess I need to work on communicating with a woman…and maybe you could accept that not all men are out to hurt you.”

  She hugged her legs tighter and rested her chin on her bare knees. “I’m sorry, it’s a natural instinct for me.”

  “I’ve noticed.” Alex rubbed the soft skin on her neck and struggled with whether to take the conversation to the next level. “I don’t want to hurt you, Katarina. So if it happens, know that it’s never intentional.”

  He knew the pain of losing a father, but he couldn’t imagine how much it hurt knowing her father had chosen to abandon his family. As if that wasn’t painful enough, Katarina had to live with this constant reminder of her father’s actions. What kind of man could do this to a child?

  Alex fought the urge to wrap her in his arms and tell Katarina what a wonderful child her father had created and how angry it made him that the man had caused her such pain.

  “May I ask you something, Alex?”

  “Of course. What is it?” He searched her face, reaching into her thoughts, offering silent comfort and support to the one woman he longed to love.

  “How do you know what God’s will for you is?”

  He sucked in a long breath. The answer seemed so simple to one who knew and trusted the heavenly Father. Yet, to Katarina, nothing was simple. Fathers didn’t stick around. Fathers weren’t to be trusted, and she’d made it perfectly clear she didn’t need another. “I asked God to show me what He wanted me to do with my life. For years, that was fighting fires.”

  Katarina’s gaze was fixed on him, her eyes betraying the fear inside.

  Father, help me to say the right thing. “Last year, after my accident, I had to sit out the last fire. I lost two close friends and struggled with going back ever since.”

  “Is that why you went back? To face your fear?”

  Alex shook his head. “I thought I was afraid for a while, but finally realized that wasn’t it. I still love fighting fires, but this time the drive wasn’t there. It wasn’t enough.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “There was something missing. God and I had quite a few discussions about the matter. I didn’t want to think of life without jumping. Coming back here, I found the missing link—family.”

  She looked even more puzzled. “I’m sure this sounds very elementary, but how do you know He’s talking to you?”

  “Some people very clearly ‘hear’ a voice. I asked Him to help me to put my own desires aside, to take them away if they weren’t in His plan. As much as I tried to deny His answer, that longing to come back here didn’t go away, and my ‘spark’ for fighting fires went out.”

  “Do you miss it now that you’re here?”

  He hated to see Katarina hurting. “Sure I do, sometimes. But not the way you might think. I’m very much at peace with the decision. I miss the jumps, the beauty, the people. I don’t miss it as much as I enjoy being here.” A long silence stretched between them, and Alex waited, hoping she would say more. “Katarina, God is willing to take your burdens, if you ask Him.”

  “That’s what’s so confusing. I’ve done that. And it doesn’t seem like He hears me. Maybe I’m asking for the wrong thing. I don’t understand.”

  “He knows your needs. He knows the plans He has for you and your future.”

  “I thought it was to sell my designs, but that obviously wasn’t it. Now I don’t know what He has in store. Ron keeps pushing in one direction, and that makes sense, but it’s not working out at all according to our plans.”

  Alex felt a slight twinge of guilt that their plans weren’t going well, but it went away quickly. As long as she and Ron were out of sorts, there was hope. Your will, Father, not mine. “I hope hiring help means you’ll be able to take a little more time to relax.”

  “This from a man who spent days on end fighting fires without sleep? And who’s going to be staying on his next job site in order to put in more hours?” she teased.

  Alex placed his hand on the seat behind her and leaned close. “If you object, I can always change my plans.”

  Katarina’s blue eyes met his, and the subtle look of amusement faded away. Her demure smile invited him to toss aside his principles and give her a kiss that would make her forget the Boy Scout.

  “Tell me that ‘fiancé’ of yours is out of the picture, Katarina, and I’ll be the first to congratulate you. In the meantime, I won’t add to your confusion.”

  His words didn’t register on her dizzied senses until he stood up and pulled her to her feet.

  “True love has no doubts. True love casts away fear. Listen to your heart. I think you know what it is that God’s trying to tell you. You draw that line, Kat, and I’ll respect it.”

  Katarina felt like a fool. She wanted Alex to kiss her, to let his strong embrace comfort her and let her feel special, if only for a few minutes.

  “Go on inside, Alex. Please. I want to be alone.” She turned her back to him and stared into the stormy sky.

  Alex rested his hands on her shoulders. “You’re never alone, Kat. Our heavenly Father is always with you.” His comforting words were a warm blanket around her. And then he left.

  She leaned against the post and let the breeze cool her. Lightning crackled and sliced the sky, and turned the darkness into a spectacular light show. Katarina looked at Alex. The shadow of his lean, rugged body filled the patio door.

  Raindrops pelted the gazebo, splatting against the lattice walls in a squall that lasted less than five minutes and did little more than tease regarding the much-needed moisture. She brushed the mist from her face and noted Alex was still there. Was he watching the storm? Or her?

  Oh, Alex, where were you when Ron came along?

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Come on, Kat, we want you to come. It’s Kevin’s birthday,” Emily begged.

  “You won’t miss me.” Katarina was thankful that she didn’t have to face Alex that next morning. He’d already left for Adam’s when she awoke. She wondered idly what he had been thinking since she’d asked him to leave the gazebo. She’d been sure he was going to kiss her. And her embarrassment refused to go away.

  Emily continued chopping vegetables. “We will, too. And you’ve been looking forward to camping. Come on. What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and Alex?”

  You read minds now, Dr. Emily? “No, nothing happened.”

  “Then what is it?” Emily’s voice took on that all-knowing-big-sister tone.

  Katarina laughed sarcastically. “Don’t you dare get that tone with me.”

  Emily smiled. “Sparks are flying, aren’t they? Surely I don’t need to tell you, the ‘heart specialist,’ that Alex is a wonderful guy.”

  “Yeah, a real Boy Scout.”

  Emily nudged Katarina with her hip. “Come on, tell me what’s going on.”

  She turned serious. “I did tell you. Nothing.” Kat hesitated, feeling her face flush all over again at her sister’s stare of disbelief. “Okay. I thought he was going to kiss me, and he backed away a
t the last minute, because of Ron.”

  “Really? That’s…nice of him.” Emily said, clearly as puzzled as Katarina. “I mean, chivalrous, I guess.”

  “It was for the best. Now you see why I don’t want to go. I mean, I’m the one who is supposedly committed to Ron, and I wanted Alex to kiss me.”

  “You’re not even sure you want to stay with Ron, are you?”

  Silence.

  “Be honest, Kat. You’re having doubts, aren’t you?”

  True love has no doubts. Katarina shook her head. If that’s true, Alex, I couldn’t truly love you, either. “We’ve been together for nearly two years. It’s…”

  “A safety net. That’s all. Ron and you share none of the passion, for anything, that sustains a marriage. He’s convenient. He doesn’t challenge your comfort zone. He doesn’t enjoy any of the things you do. Kat, you wouldn’t be happy with him. Tell me, did you have a wonderful time when he came to visit?”

  “Passion wasn’t enough for Dad, either.”

  Emily looked out the window again, checking on Ricky in his new sandbox. “Don’t try to figure out what went wrong for Mom and Dad. We only know Mom’s side of the story—which is very biased. You can’t live in the past.”

  “Those who forget the past are destined to repeat it.”

  Emmy held up her hands in defeat. “Don’t live in fear of repeating it. Change history, Katarina. Do you even love Ron?”

  The words wouldn’t come from Katarina’s mouth. She took a drink of water and looked at Emily. “I thought so.”

  “Until?”

  “I met Alex.” Emily said nothing. “And it scares me.” Katarina gathered the chocolate chip cookies from the cooling rack and put them in a bag. “Alex has just left a career that he loved so much that he stayed single in order to continue the job. I know he’s very happy working with Kevin, too, Em, but… I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “All I’m hearing is fear, Kat. And pretty lousy reasons not to take a chance on someone you care for, I might add. What is it that attracts you to him?”

  Katarina leaned her head back on the sofa and closed her eyes. “He’s so thoughtful, and friendly, protective.” The words flowed easily. “He’s analytical, and open, funny, energetic and strong—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. He’s so easy to talk to.” Katarina opened her eyes. “Now I sound like that lovesick eighteen-year-old again.”

  Emily laughed softly. “Not quite. When you were eighteen all you noticed was that he was a hunk. You didn’t even mention that today.”

  Katarina blushed. “Well, that goes without saying.”

  “So what’s the worst thing that could happen, Kat?”

  They both knew the answer to that one.

  Without saying another word, Emily started carrying the gear to the Suburban. “Come help, then we’ll go get your things packed. I’m not leaving you home alone on the Fourth of July.”

  When they arrived at Whispering Pines Ranch two hours later, Alex, Kevin and Adam were waiting to unload the food and sleeping bags. Six tents littered what looked like a pasture with split rail fences surrounding it. Beyond the next fence, horses whinnied. Behind the house were some sort of camp stove and tables under a green-and-white-striped awning.

  Kevin and Emily greeted each other warmly. “Come on, you two, it’s only been two days since you’ve been apart,” Adam interrupted. “Love, it’s pathetic.” He winked at Katarina. “Let me show you where to set that.” She followed the youngest MacIntyre into the old house.

  Avoiding Alex was easy, thanks to Ricky. The little boy had obviously found his own hero. Adam carried the coolers to the kitchen and helped Katarina move the perishables into the refrigerator while Kevin helped Emily “situate” their tent. Alex took Ricky to check out the guys’ tent.

  Mrs. MacIntyre came into the kitchen while Adam went for the next load. “It’s so good to have you join us, Katarina. I wish your younger sister could have come.”

  Kat smiled at Alex’s mother. “I’m sure Lisa would love it here. She’s always searching for a beautiful focal point for her camera. Whispering Pines fits that bill.”

  “Poor Adam fell in love with this place as a boy. He had no idea he’d be stuck with me, too.”

  Alex and Ricky appeared, each carrying grocery sacks. “Yeah, poor, poor, Adam. He’s stuck, all right. Trying to keep up with his mother is tough on the kid.”

  Millie smiled as Alex wrapped his arm around his mother’s shoulders. She jabbed him in the ribs. “I didn’t see you passing me up yesterday.”

  Adam walked through the door, laughing. “Yeah, bro. You ought to talk!”

  “Hey, it’s not my fault you gave me old Gertrude. I could have beat the both of you if I’d had your mount.”

  Alex looked happier than she’d ever seen him. He looked at Katarina, his blue eyes piercing the distance between them. “Come on up to the pasture, and I’ll show you to your palace, ma’am. It has a bit different accommodations than our last camp-out, as I recall.”

  Katarina sucked in a breath. She hoped that coming here wasn’t a huge mistake.

  Ricky started to tag along, but Adam caught his attention. “Why don’t Grandma and I show you our horses?”

  “Real horses?” The three headed straight across the pasture, and Alex led her to the right.

  Katarina looked accusingly at Alex. “Why, the little traitor. Bought off by a measly horse.”

  Alex laughed, and Katarina joined him.

  “Let’s grab your bags. I trust you packed warmer clothes this trip.”

  “Yours were so cozy, I thought I’d just use them. I was sure you wouldn’t mind,” she retorted.

  “I’ll have to remember that in the future, in case any of my clothes come up missing.” A smile teased his lips and he took her overloaded suitcase from the back of the Suburban and groaned. “I see you didn’t want to take any chances this time.”

  “Nope.”

  Alex motioned toward the gate and followed her through. “Third tent on the right. You’ll notice I’ve gone to great lengths to make sure your first camping experience is a pleasant one.”

  For an instant she forgot the embarrassment of the other night. “It was…quite memorable. And in case you’ve forgotten, this is my second camp-out.”

  “Then I hope I can make your second just as memorable as the first.” Katarina noticed the warm smile hiding behind his tense jaw. “I believe I agreed to show you what camping is supposed to be like.” He stopped by a blue-and-maroon tent, unzipped the opening and set her bag inside. “The finest tent available, just for you.”

  Katarina looked at him suspiciously as she stepped into the domed shelter. “There’s only one problem, Mr. Bellhop.” Katarina placed her hands on her hips and spun around to face him.

  Alex quirked his eyebrows. “Yes?”

  “We’re not sharing a tent.”

  “But we share a house,” he countered.

  Katarina stepped back and pointed at the two sleeping bags. “A house. A huge house, not a…tiny room,” she said, lowering her voice to a grumble.

  Alex shrugged. “I didn’t make the sleeping assignments, sorry.” His lip twitched. “Katarina…”

  She took another step backward and tumbled over her suitcase and onto the tent floor. “Ouch!” Katarina paused. “You can get out, and take your sleeping bag with you.” She picked up the pillow and threw it at him.

  Alex hopped out of the way, caught the pillow and peeked his head back inside. “Have it your way, Kat, but it’s not my sleeping bag.”

  “Then whose is it?”

  “Alex, is there a problem?” Mrs. MacIntyre’s shadow rounded the tent before she did.

  “No problem, Mother. Just trying to settle your roomie’s nerves.”

  Katarina felt the blush crawl clear to her neck. She covered her face with her hands.

  “Oh,” Alex said, leaning back inside, “here.”

  Katarina looked up just as the pil
low smacked her in the face. His mother? How many more ways can I make a fool of myself in front of this family? She collapsed back onto the sleeping bag and covered her face with the pillow.

  Mrs. MacIntyre stepped inside. “Are you okay, Katarina?”

  “Fine, I’m just fine.”

  “You’ll have to excuse the boys, dear. They’ve had such fun setting things up for this party. We’ve so enjoyed having Alex here the past few days.”

  Katarina groaned quietly, hoping the pillow muffled the sound from Mrs. MacIntyre’s ears.

  “I do hope you don’t mind me sharing your tent. The boys thought I should stay in the house, but they seem to have forgotten who taught them how to camp.”

  Kat pulled the pillow from her face and sat up. “I don’t mind at all, Mrs. Mac…”

  “Call me Millie, please.”

  Alex popped his head back into the tent. The smoldering flame she saw in his gaze startled her. “You ready for a riding lesson?”

  Katarina looked at Millie, then Alex. “Riding what?”

  “Horses.”

  “Really? You’re not teasing me again, are you?”

  “Cross my heart.”

  She smiled. “Okay. As long as I get dear, sweet old Gertrude.”

  He offered Katarina a hand and led her past his mother. “You want to join us, Mom?”

  “I’ll stay with Ricky and wait for the others to arrive.” The three walked toward the barn.

  “Adam’s taking him. We’ll fix the burgers later.” Alex glanced at his watch. “The others won’t be here for at least an hour. Why don’t you go ahead and put your feet up for a while?”

  Millie nodded and headed toward the house as Ricky, Kevin, Emily and Adam came around the corner of the barn.

  “Daddy, can I ride with you?”

  Kevin lifted his son to his shoulders. “Sure, but your uncle Adam is a better horseman than I am. Why don’t you ride with him?” They disappeared inside the barn.

  Alex took hold of Katarina’s hand momentarily and slowed his pace as they headed for the corrals. “I’m glad you decided to come, Katarina. I wasn’t so sure you would after what I said the other night. I thought sure you and Ron would have plans for the weekend.”