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  “We need to talk, Officer Roberts.”

  “I have to go. It’s a family matter. It has nothing to do with this case, Sergeant.”

  Nick wanted to believe her. The problem was the fear he saw in her dark brown eyes. “What does it have to do with, then?”

  Sarah looked around uncomfortably. “My sister’s…safety. I can’t talk about it.”

  “Not here, you mean? Not to me?”

  She looked him in the eye and he knew something was wrong. “Just trust me—you don’t need to know.”

  Nick felt the knife in his back again. Except this petite woman was standing right in front of him. “You’re leaving before finishing reports. I’d say I need to know. You may have FBI credentials, but it’s my duty to make sure you know how to survive on the streets. And I can assure you a distracted police officer may be a danger to herself and her partner.”

  The silence between them lengthened. Her voice softened. “I wouldn’t do that to you.” She glanced up at him. “Never.”

  Books by Carol Steward

  Love Inspired Suspense

  *Guardian of Justice

  In His Sights

  *Badge of Honor

  Love Inspired

  There Comes a Season

  Her Kind of Hero

  Second Time Around

  Courting Katarina

  This Time Forever

  Finding Amy

  Finding Her Home

  Journey to Forever

  CAROL STEWARD

  To Carol Steward, selling a book is much like riding a roller coaster—every step of the process, every sale brings that exhilarating high. During the less exciting times, she’s busy gathering ideas and refilling her cup. Writing brings a much-needed balance to her life, since she has her characters share lessons she has learned, as well.

  When she’s not working at the University of Northern Colorado, you can usually find her spending time with her husband of over thirty years, writing and thanking God she survived raising her own three children, to reap His rewards of playing with her adorable grandchildren.

  Throughout all the different seasons of life, God has continued to teach Carol to turn to Him. She has also learned to simplify her life and appreciate her many blessings—His gift of creativity, sharing her love for God with readers and setting an example of what God can do when we say, “Yes, God, take me, shape me, use me.” To find out more about Carol’s slightly crazy life and her books, visit her Web site at www.carolsteward.com.

  BADGE of HONOR

  Carol Steward

  Published by Steeple Hill Books™

  For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps. He committed no sin; no guile was found on his lips. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he trusted to him who judged justly.

  —I Peter 2:21–23

  This book could not have come together without the support of many dear friends and loved ones. First, for understanding that it kills me to miss the chance to spend time with all of you. Know that you’re always near my thoughts, even when I’m writing. You’ll see what I mean. Second, for not only understanding, but helping me through the rough spots, whether it’s cooking dinner—again—or a massage, or helping me throw out a scene and make it better. You’re all the greatest inspiration I could ever ask for.

  Again, to my editor, Melissa—I can’t thank you enough.

  To my wonderful husband, Dave. Thanks for taking

  a chance on me and never letting me give up on my

  dreams. Thirty years and counting!

  To my daughter, Sarah, and her husband, who are

  both a true blessing to me, and whose real-life

  determination to forever live up to being the oldest

  breathed life into a cookie-cutter character.

  God bless you both.

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  EPILOGUE

  QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

  ONE

  Nick Matthews marched into the precinct, a wave of silence rippling in his wake. His life had changed forever. Even here, with the men and women who had been his friends and defended his life, the shadow of doubt tainted his return. He wouldn’t be able to repair the damage to his honor overnight, but he wasn’t about to walk away.

  Fighting crime was his life.

  Nick noticed a petite woman walk into the building next to him and turned to investigate. Opening the door to the administrative wing of the police station, he held it as she hurried through.

  “Thank you,” she said, tossing her full hair over her shoulder.

  He nodded, trying to turn off the guilt of admiring a pretty woman. He wasn’t committed to anyone anymore. Ronda had taken care of that with one swift judgment.

  With his conscience cleared, Nick turned to introduce himself, stopped when the FBI seal on her navy polo shirt stole his interest.

  His adrenaline kicked into high gear, like it did when he was working a case. Why was the FBI here? What was she investigating? Or should he ask who?

  Before he could say anything, she turned down the hall toward the shift commander’s office and disappeared without another word.

  Nick entered the men’s locker room preoccupied with thoughts of the woman in the FBI shirt. As he made his way through, he heard someone say, “There was another assault last night.”

  Nick listened, wondering if they had a serial criminal on their streets. Maybe that was why “Miss FBI” was here.

  “Was it the same M.O. as the rape last spring…?” The officer’s voice faded the minute he saw Nick.

  “No, didn’t get that far. Three students walked by and scared him off.” The lower voice was easy to identify. Jared Daniels.

  Steeling himself against the dreaded silence, Nick wondered how the chief thought returning to patrol duty rather than to his position as detective would build trust again. But Nick didn’t voice his questions. Those were his orders.

  “Hey there, Matthews, welcome back,” Officer Jeremy Logan said as he walked past.

  Nick nodded. “Thanks, Jeremy. It’s good to be here.” He fielded a greeting or two, and more than a few skeptical glares from other officers. No one wanted to be associated with a troublemaker, let alone a cop suspected of being on the take. Lockers clanged shut as the whispers turned to silence. One by one, a half-dozen men slipped out of the room in quick succession.

  He silently repeated Isaiah 43:2, the verse that had gotten him through this ordeal. “When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you: your troubles will not overwhelm you.” Some days, like today, Nick questioned how much tribulation God thought he could handle. His own opinion was obviously very different from God’s.

  Opening his locker, Nick took a quick inventory.

  He hadn’t been in here for weeks, and hadn’t worn his uniform since he’d moved to the investigative unit three years ago.

  Ignoring the silence was impossible.

  These officers had been li
ke family. He couldn’t believe any one of them would think he’d have gone along with anyone on the force selling confiscated drugs. Worse yet was the implication that three officers had been involved in the underground drug ring. So if it wasn’t Nick, they were still looking for one more culprit.

  Nick noticed Sean Randall hurry in, stopping to open a locker nearby.

  “Hey, Matthews, how’re you doing?” he asked, as if he’d forgotten Nick wore a scarlet letter on his badge.

  “Doing okay,” he said simply. He wasn’t about to jump in and make the same mistakes again. Figuring out who he could trust was going to take time, no matter how good a detective he’d been. He couldn’t interrogate each of his colleagues.

  Time.

  Patience.

  Prayers.

  Vic Taylor and Jed Tate had been convicted and were awaiting sentencing. Even with the promise of a lighter sentence, they wouldn’t give up any other names, which left a whole lot of suspicion running rampant.

  Nick didn’t want to believe another officer on the force was involved. That those two had been working drug cases, forming a drug ring, was unbelievable.

  He had to get to the bottom of this.

  This is not a demotion. It’s not even discipline. Much as he tried to convince himself of that, it wasn’t working.

  He pinned his badge and name tag to the shirt, then began putting on the required layers for traffic officers. The Kevlar vest and uniform shirt weren’t nearly as comfortable as his plainclothes uniform, and he was pretty sure they hadn’t been this snug last time he’d patrolled the streets, either.

  Nick took the shirt off, checked for his name on the label ironed to the collar, to be sure someone hadn’t switched them. When had he put on weight? He tugged the shirt across his chest to button it. He’d need to order the next size larger—soon. That, or buy a thinner vest. With the gang activity in the area on the rise, he wasn’t about to take that chance. He sucked in and fastened the shirt, praying it held through the shift. I look like a body builder trying to look buff, he thought. Just what I need tonight.

  “Put on a little weight since you left the streets, huh, Matthews?” Sean said with a laugh. “Welcome back.”

  “Thanks,” he said gruffly. “It’s all muscle. I’ve been working out in my time off.”

  “Yeah,” Randall muttered, “Me, too. My wife says it’s sympathy weight. She expects me to lose it as soon as the baby arrives.”

  “Your wife is pregnant?”

  “That’s right,” Sean bragged. “Our first.”

  “Congratulations.” Nick was stunned that Sean continued the conversation. He’d expected total silence. “When’s the big day?”

  “Doc says December 8. We’ll see. Noelle’s showing already.” The officer practically blushed as Nick chuckled. Sean finished dressing and closed his locker. “We’ll catch up later.”

  “Yeah, take it easy.” Nick made the necessary adjustments to his duty belt, adding his handcuffs, baton and flashlight rings before making his way to the briefing room. He sat in the back row, trying to lie low. Hushed voices dropped to a deafening silence the minute he took his seat.

  Nick knew what they were going through. He even knew what they were thinking. He’d never known what to say when an officer came back after being disciplined for breaking policy. Now he knew how it felt to be the one no one wanted to get too close to. He looked around, trying to place names with the new faces. He was pretty sure Captain Thomas had said his trainee was a female officer. There were two women here he didn’t recognize. The FBI agent was nowhere in sight.

  When the shift commander entered the room and stopped to say hello, Nick’s hopes of staying invisible were blown to smithereens. He fought the urge not to slump in his chair, as he had in high school when a teacher embarrassed him by calling on him when he’d walked into class after the bell.

  “Let’s welcome Nick back to street patrol,” the commander said, obviously trying to break the awkward tension in the room. “Congratulations on the outcome, Sergeant Matthews.” That ominous cloud of silence broke when two officers joined the commander’s clapping, and the rest reluctantly followed.

  Once the murmur of voices returned to normal, the commander began the briefing. “We have changes to the Field Training Officer assignments. Sarah Roberts,” he said as a deafening silence took over the room again. Thomas motioned toward the front row, where the petite woman who had walked in with Nick, stood, barely clearing the heads of the men sitting behind her. Her dark hair was neatly braided and she looked like a teenager waiting for a growth spurt to befall her. “Officer Roberts comes to Fossil Creek with ten years of FBI field experience. You’ll spend the next four weeks training with your FTO Sergeant Matthews.”

  Nick figured every officer in the room was thinking the same thing he was—that Nick Matthews had a new watchdog.

  Despite the annoyance, he nodded as Officer Roberts’s glance met his. It can’t be the same Sarah Roberts who went to Fossil Creek High, could it? As she took her seat, Nick struggled to focus on taking notes for the night’s shift, BOLOs, outstanding warrants and cases to be mindful of—mainly the assault case from the night before. He struggled to keep his mind from drifting to the cute twin sister of his old basketball teammate.

  He refused to look again. He forced himself to focus on the briefing as Captain Thomas went into detail on the BOLO.

  “Be on the lookout for any suspicious activity near the campus,” the captain explained as Nick struggled to link Sarah’s assignment to the assault case.

  “…second assault in the vicinity of the university last night. Suspect is described as five-ten, Caucasian, brown hair and medium build. It occurred between nine and ten last night near the fine arts building off Pine Street and Gateway Place. The university police have asked us to provide assistance with additional patrols of the area. This assault has several similarities to the rape that occurred last April. All units in that area double your patrols on the university perimeter until further notice.”

  Nick’s mind wandered again, and he found himself wishing he was the detective on the case. Sitting on the fringes had never been his strength. But there was never a dull moment in a city of almost a hundred twenty thousand—thirty thousand more when the university was in session. Patrolling the streets had its perks, he realized—more action, fewer dead ends than in investigations. And it would be a lot more difficult to find out if someone still had it in for him.

  After the briefing, he waited at the door to meet Officer Roberts. The majority of their colleagues used the opposite door, thus avoiding the need to address Nick.

  “Nick Matthews,” Sarah said confidently, as she stopped next to him and looked up. Her brown eyes, framed with long, dark lashes and high arched eyebrows, were filled with intrigue and intelligence, he noted as he offered his hand.

  She was even shorter than she’d looked earlier and even prettier than she had been in high school. He’d guess she was just over five feet tall, the bulkiness of the Kevlar vest and boxy uniform slacks hiding any semblance of a womanly figure. Her face was a dead giveaway, however. Totally feminine. Her full lips would have been too much on most faces, but fit perfectly with her square jaw. He imagined she wore her hair in a thick braid because of the job. She probably didn’t remember him—he’d been two years younger.

  She looked him over once and nodded. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  “You, too.” He didn’t want to think about what she meant by “finally.”

  How long were people going to question his word? His actions? His honor? And how was he supposed to erase that shadow of doubt two crooked officers had placed on his badge, when his superiors assigned a former FBI agent to be his new partner? Heavenly Father, help me put the past behind me and move forward.

  TWO

  Sarah saw the look of doubt in Nick’s eyes. Whether it was skepticism that anyone so petite could be counted on as backup, or her experience with the FBI that he wa
s upset about, she wasn’t sure. She’d been in Fossil Creek for little over a month, and not one person yet seemed to believe she’d willingly left the Federal Bureau of Investigations to become a street officer. Sarah was growing tired of trying to prove herself.

  “I’m sorry to ask to keep you waiting, but I really need to talk to the captain. I wasn’t able to catch him earlier,” she said, looking Nick in the eye. “It should only take a few minutes. Do you mind?”

  He shrugged. “Be my guest.”

  She walked into their superior’s office and closed the door. “Captain Thomas, do you have a minute?”

  “Of course, my door’s always open. I got your message on my way into the courtroom this morning. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about your sister’s attack last night. Is she okay?”

  Sarah nodded. “She’s pretty shaken up, but thankfully, the group of students came along and startled the suspect before he did anything more than scare her.”

  The captain frowned. “You don’t have to stay and work tonight, if she wants you with her.”

  Sarah thanked him, but declined the offer. “She already had plans with a group of friends…. She thinks if she just goes on as usual, she’ll be able to forget it happened. She doesn’t want me hovering over her as a reminder.”

  “Well, if she does need you, call me personally. I’ll make sure it’s kept quiet,” he stated.

  “I wanted to thank you for not revealing that last night’s victim was my sister.”

  “I wouldn’t have, anyway,” Thomas assured her. “But if at any point it becomes necessary to the investigation, you need to be prepared to talk to the detectives.”